Simon: Well Stephen, here we go for another year of On the Run. It’s a good time for us to think about what we’re doing with the magazine and tell our readers what they can expect in the year ahead.
Stephen: It's also a great time for us to remind our readers that we're always looking for fresh new content to publish. We're online these days so it doesn't have to be writing - people can send us running-related photos, videos, and podcast interviews. We even accept news delivered by carrier pigeons.
Simon: It’s true. It’s been terrific to have had so many contributors so far, but it’d be great to have more.
Stephen: Everyone seems to prefer the articles that aren’t written by us.
Simon: I try not to take it personally.
Stephen: So let’s get lots more articles about running and Scottish and it should be another great year!
Simon: Especially once we start turning a profit.
Stephen: I’m sorry?
Simon: Well, the relaunch last year exceeded expectations. We actioned our implementation plan and remained resolutely focused on our KPIs. Consumer engagement was consistently positive and we delivered innovative enhancements to the end-user experience. Looking forward, I am energized about the prospect of monetizing our content, so that we can deliver superior returns to our investors while maintaining market share. Also, from now on I think we should be called “curators,” not editors.
Stephen: With respect Simon, I think your bourgeois outlook for On the Run is holding us back from emancipating the members of Scottish. Your vision for the magazine has perpetuated false consciousness. The runner proletariat is looking to us to set them free by providing a syndo-anarchist analysis of the class struggle that is club running.
Simon: Sorry, Stephen, I nodded off for a moment there. Were you saying something about synergies?
Stephen: No no. I was talking about using On the Run as a mouthpiece in the struggle to give hard-working athletes control over the means of production. What the people are calling for is detailed articles on dialectical materialism and the Dorne Cup. It is not the consciousness of runners that determines their existence, but, on the contrary, their speed that determines their consciousness. If they go too fast, they will become unconscious.
Simon: Look, I might be missing something here, but why would Google want to pay us ten million dollars for that?
Stephen: That’s not what it’s about Simon! That’s never what it was about. By the way, I think we should start printing the magazine on recycled webspace.
Simon: Wow Stephen. Honestly, sometimes I feel like I just don’t know you anymore. Don’t you remember how it was when we started out, just two stakeholders with a strategic plan?
Stephen: I thought we were two doves floating gently towards authenticity. But sure, whatever.
Simon: I hate it when we fight.
Stephen: Me too.
Simon: I love you man.
Stephen: I love you too.
Simon: Shall we just go back to doing On the Run in the normal old way?
Simon: Want to get a coffee?